Jeffrey "Milo" Goodale

Milo was an extraordinary son. 
 
He had a brilliant mind, a beautiful smile and a heart of gold.
    He laughed a lot and made us laugh.
No one who met Milo was ever left unimpressed or unaffected.

Milo lived his life with endless passion and excitement.
 Life to him was one long concert, full of 
leaps and bounds and noise and lights 
and music.

He loved his family, his friends, his music, and was
 passionate about working out and staying physically fit. 

Milo was always very generous.
 Whenever he had money 
in his pocket he was quick to
 help anyone in need.  His needs
were left for last.




Jim, Milo's stepdad, said that,

" Milo was a stranger to this earth."

Never was this more apparent than on the
 day he died.
Going through his apartment that day we all noticed
what few possessions he had.

 But what he did have was telling;

He had a Bible, a picture of Jesus, a few
 self help books, and a picture that little Matthew had drawn 
for him, of the two of them 
" holding hands."

When I look at Milo's photographs, 
 I still cannot believe
 that all that life and love has vanished.
But what I do know is that if love alone could 
have kept him alive,
 he never would have died.




Milo was diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder,

and had A.D.D.

We knew he had problems with
A.D.D., but only learned of the definitive
diagnosis of 
Bipolar disorder within only a few months
preceding his death.

It came as no surprise.

 Milo battled with
depression for many years.  We tried
to get him the help he needed,
but he was resistant.  He always felt it was something
he could handle on his own.

Five months before he died he
began seeing a psychiatrist.
Because he had no insurance he fell into
the hands of our system which was already
 overworked and
understaffed,
resulting in a lack
of personal interest.

The doctor put Milo on a new medication
  just weeks before he died. He wasn't adjusting
to it well.
I left 5 messages with the doctor's office,
 but never 
received a return phone from his doctor
 until it was too late.

We believe that
the new medication was a contributing factor
in Milo's death.

His death was ruled an accidental suicide
 from
morphine poisoning.  It was my medication.


It is an understood
fact that people who suffer from these illnesses will often
 self medicate in an effort
to ease their mental anguish, so we don't fault
Milo for what he did.

It was also discovered that Milo had  been
suffering from
Diabetes 2, which explained the lack of energy
he had been feeling.
Again, because he had no insurance, that wasn't
discovered until after he died.





We have thanked God for taking Milo
when He did. 

  With the downward spiral he was
on, he could have died a horrible death.






Milo didn't make friends easily,
but there
wasn't anything in the world that he
wouldn't do for them.

His friends
have told me that he was considerate, compassionate,
honest,thoughtful, selfless,
 hard-working, fiercely funny, and extremely
loyal.  They have also confided that they were
aware of his mood swings, but that it
never changed their relationships
with him in any way.




Milo attended El Dorado High School, then 
went on to Chapparral High School where he 
graduated in 1993 with a 4.0 average.

His favorite sport was basketball, but he also played baseball, 
football, track, wrestling, boxing, and other sports.  

He excelled in any sport he chose to play
and won many trophies.

He loved competition, but not until his first wrestling match
 when he was losing and wanted to quit.
He was 13 at the time.

I told him, 
"NO, you are NOT quitting!
Just get mad and go kick his butt!!"

He DID!!




In 1992 he came in
 2nd place in

 The State of Nevada
Wrestling Championships.




Milo was Methodist by faith.

He was baptized and received Christ on the same day his step-dad 
walked up to the front of the church to be baptized. 

Milo, unexpectedly, followed in his footsteps.




He pursued a career in Physical Fitness and
became an A. C. E. Certified Physical Fitness Trainer,
 fulfilling one of his biggest dreams.

He helped many people lose weight and get
 into shape.  He waspleased
that he was able to help them
achieve their personal goals.

Milo was passionate about nutrition and
  eating a well balanced diet.

  On his birthdays
he would usually request a fruit bowl
stead of the traditional birthday cake.
 



He became a carpenter and learned the
 trade from "The Best," his father, Jeff.

They built custom homes, duplexes,
 condominiums and apartment
buildings.

  No job was ever too hard or too big for them.

Regardless of whether the winds were
 howling, or the sky was pouring forth 
rain or snow, or the temperatures were 
sweltering hot or freezing cold,

 They just got on with it.




Shortly after Milo got out of high school
he applied for a position with the
Police Academy in
Las Vegas. 

He studied the material and
felt confidant about passing the 
required tests,
which included a written test, 
an oral test, a psychological profile,
 and a physical endurance test.

When Milo called to see if he had
been accepted, he was told 
that there had been one question
 on the psychological profile,
but that he had passed all of the other
tests with flying colors, and was
congratulated.

Milo was the "top runner" on the mile lap. 

 When he had finished running he sat down to
watch the remaining runners compete.

One of the last ones, an exhausted young lady, was having 
trouble finishing the course.

  Milo abruptly
jumped up from his seat, ran out
 onto the field, and began running next to her,
encouraging her to complete her final lap.

The impact of this unselfish act motivated
the girl to complete the run, in an acceptable 
time frame, and got her a
position in the academy.

And this is how Milo always was;

Selfless, giving, and very thoughtful of others.




Milo was proud when he became an uncle
 to Chaleigh in 1990, and then to Matthew in 1998.

Many times during the summer he would
take Chaleigh and her friends to Fiesta Texas,
  and he would jump at the chance
 to play video games or go swimming with Matthew.

Matthew was just 6 years old when Milo died.

But he still remembers the uncle
who would play video games with him
until oh-dark thirty





I want Milo's Memory to live on forever.


I want people to rememember him, 
to know him,
 to love him, 
to know
 how 
important he was 
to us.


  I want them to know what an extraordinary person he was ~
 How much he laughed, and how much joy he brought us.


I think one of Milo's greatest
 gifts to me
 was one of 
healing.


 In losing so much when I lost him, I faced 
my own worst fears and greatest demons.

I cannot escape the pain, 
or the loss,
or the sad memories,
or the fact that I miss him so 
unbearably 
at times.

But I"m learning to live with it, 

as we all do,

one day at a time.




Milo left each of us something.

A gift, a dream, a memory, 

A little more courage than we had before.






In my heart, Milo isn't gone.

He still dances on, as dazzling as ever, 

smiling and joking and laughing.









"Life is not measured by the number of breaths
we take, but by the moments that
take our breath away."

    -  unknown

"Ask, and it will be given you;
seek and you shall find;
knock, and it shall be
opened to you

 Gracious thanks to Laurri Lowe, mother of

Rosie Lowe,

( www.rosie-lowe.memory-of.com )

  a five mile hike was

 sponsored and coordinated this past summer

(2007)

to bring more awareness to suicide,  and to the

 devastating effects that are left

 on the broken shoulders of the survivors.

Laurri, Dave & Rosie Lowe

On behalf of those who have lost

a loved one to

SUICIDE, please keep the survivors in your prayers,

and make it a point to check on them regularly.

 It is amazing how quickly a

depressed person can heal IF they know

they have friends that will be there if they need

anything. 

More often, it's the simple phone calls to say, "I really care.  How are you doing today? I AM here if you NEED me. I love you. You are NOT alone."

Loved Ones' Suicide Survivors


All text copied from LOSS Website


The person who completes suicide dies once. Those left behind die a thousand deaths, trying to relive those terrible moments and understand ....WHY?

We are all “intertwined …. separate, yet together, alike, yet different. We are interwoven such that, together, we are more than we are apart. Each of us is desperately loved and needed by others. But love isn't enough! If it were, our loved ones would still be alive.

We are parents, spouses, siblings, children, relatives, lovers, partners, in-laws, companions, and friends of one who has completed suicide. We are “those left behind.” Victims of a tragedy that we could not foresee but feel responsibility for, and for which there is no closure.

We are angry about our loss and seek the ability to express our anger appropriately, whether at the one we have lost, at others who ignored or were negligent about our loved one’s health, or at ourselves. We struggle with guilt and blame.

We have a right to grieve in a manner and time frame that works best for us. We don’t have to “get over it” or “move on.” The intensity of our loss remains constant, the frequency of intense feelings does lessen over time.

We face together the cruel reality that others will remember our loved ones, not for their life and how they lived it, but for their death and how it came to be.

We are Loved Ones’ Suicide Survivors (LOSS). We suffer an especially acute, long, and painful grief. Our needs are not well understood. Our grief is complex, overwhelming and disabling. Death is a normal life crisis – suicide is an abnormal life crisis.

We grieve, but we need not grieve alone.


www.healingafterloss.org

To The Living

To the living, I am gone;
To the sorrowful, I will never return;
To the angry, I was cheated;
but to the happy, I am at peace,
and to the faithful I have never left.


I cannot speak, but I can listen;
I cannot be seen, but I can be heard.
So, as you stand upon a shore gazing at the
beautiful sea,
Remember me.


As you look in awe at a mighty forest and feel its
grand majesty,
remember me.

Remember me in your heart,
your thoughts, and memories of the times we
cried,
the times we fought,
the times we laughed,
the times we loved.

For if you always think of me,
I will never be gone from your side.


- author unknown

"When we forgive, we free ourselves from

the bitter ties that bind us to the

one who hurt us."