Death is a normal life crisis -
Suicide isn't.
Suicide Prevention Action Network - USA
If you are feeling suicidal, CALL:
1-800-TALK
Milo loved to eat fruits of all kinds,
& would always request a
fruit bowl for his birthday
rather than a traditional birthday cake
"But those that wait upon the Lord
Shall renew their strength;
They shall mount up with wings like eagles,
They shall run and not be weary,
They shall walk and not faint."
Isaiah 40:31
"As the hour's candle is burning, I felt the
soft caress, as like moonbeam
on my face,
whispering,
Remember me."
sharing my memories and a
my sweet boy.
Two parts of French vanilla
creamer, combined with
one part rich, mahogany colored coffee ,
topped off with a tiny dollop of whipped cream.
I used to tease you about using
too much creamer
In your coffee.
Now I make my coffee the
same way
you did, as I savor
While sitting on the veranda
we could laugh at
the hummingbirds as they
argue over their rights
to the feeder.
sun beams dancing leisurely
in pursuit
of a the new day.
We could share the past, with all
of its ups and downs,
and the funny and sad,
or worrisome times.
I remember you by heart, Milo
Your keen, passionate green eyes that commanded
attention, and then softened into pools
of warm honey when you felt
understood.
The warmth of your precious
smile,
beckoning me to share my thoughts
and feelings,
or simply, to listen to yours.
I remember the long, lazy walks we took
together in
the forest with
my hand securely fastened warmly
into yours.
I remember you with every thought,
every breath
and
every sigh.
I remember the exact moment you were born,
and the disbelieving instant you were gone.
You left with no farewell;
Just the serenity of the moment,
the soothing tranquility
of your being,
and the resplendent vision
of your soul
embracing eternity.
The night preceding your death
was unforgettable and
lingers in corridors
of my mind.
Just you, me and papa.
We indulged ourselves with good food,
bubbling laughter, and
a love that flowed
effortlessly.
You smiled at me,
then winked, as if to say,
I love you, don't you, Mom?"
We went home to say the customary
goodnights
that became our final goodbye.
When you awoke Monday morning
you found yourself at home,
where you belong,
"In the arms of Jesus."
I found you
In my heart, and just a breath away.
Loving you forever,
You are a shooting star that we will remember & cherish forever.
"Only God knows the silent skirmishes
that take place in our souls."
Mom had a dream about me and Dutch being together
In Heaven,
and, of course, we are.
BJ just arrived in the arms of a gigantic angel, and Bo & Mittsy are here too.
We are patiently waiting for you guys, so get your homework so
we can all be together again.
~ milo
James Webb with precious little
Kennedy Brielle.
James was Milo's "Best Friend."
I remember going home to Las Vegas wounded after my freshman year at Stanford.
My confidence was at an all-time low and I expected nothing but sympathy from my best friend to help me cope with the disappointment I felt. That's not what I got!
I still recall you "ripping into me". You looked at me and said I'd come home with my tail between my legs. I use that story as my motivation in life now. You saw something in me that I never realized was there. Thank you for never giving up on me buddy. It's hard to imagine that you were more excited about my acceptance into Stanford than I was. I am truly blessed to have had you in my life. No one has taken or will ever take your place.
It brings a smile to my face every time I talk to my wife, Heather (you remember her), about you and our mis-adventures (ha, ha). You never allowed me to take any shortcuts, because you knew I could rise to the occasion when the time was right. You pushed me beyond my wildest dreams and we conquered our wildest dreams and fears...together. We earned it as a team.
You're in a better place now. I'll see you after a while. It won't be too long.
Brothers forever,
James Webb
PS:
Now the cross that I have tattoo'd on my chest has a place for you and my late aunt.
You are ALWAYS with me!
Brothers think alike.
I said,” God I hurt.”
And God said, “I know.”
I said,” I cry a lot.”
And God said,” That's why I gave you tears.”
I said, “Life is so hard.”
And God said,” That's why I gave you loved ones.”
I said, “But my loved one died.”
And God said, “So did mine.”
I said, “It's such a great loss.”
And God said, I saw mine nailed to a cross.”
I said,” But your loved one lives.”
And God said,” So does yours.”
I said, “Where is he now?”
And God said, “My Son is by my side and
Your Son is in my arms.”
- thank you Diane Cassidy
Mother of Katie Cassidy
Dear God,
May your light burst forth within me,
To bathe my inner self
and shine through me to bless
all living things.
Amen
Heartfelt thanks to Michelle Reed for
this beautiful mini-movie 
Daughter of David Gates,
I can't get over you,because . . .
Because I carried you for nine long months, and
You were there, right under my heart
I can't get over you.
Because I felt your butterfly flutterings and your tiny taps
To let me know that you were a part of me and my life forever.
I can't get over you.
I can't get over you because I fell in love with you the very second
that I knew you were there, and I knew that we were forever one.
I can't get over you because I heard your first cry as you entered this world
And because I held your body so close to my heart
.
I can't get over you because I breathed in your baby smell as you nursed from my breast.
I can't get over you because I heard your first burp, and kissed your head for the first time.
Because I saw your first tear as it fell upon your cheek, and
Because you looked at me with such trusting loving eyes
that made me the center of your world.
I can't get over you, my precious child,
Because I saw your first steps and heard your first laugh.
I held you so tightly, and rocked you through the night.
because you trusted me to love and to take care of you.
I can't get over you because you were, and still are, my child.
I will never get over you
Because I am your mother,
And I will love you forever,
I will never get over you.
4 Love is patient; love is kind; love is not envious or boastful or arrogant 5or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; 6it does not rejoice in wrongdoing, but rejoices in the truth. 7It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
8 Love never ends. But as for prophecies, they will come to an end; as for tongues, they will cease; as for knowledge, it will come to an end. 9For we know only in part, and we prophesy only in part; 10but when the complete comes, the partial will come to an end. 11When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child; when I became an adult, I put an end to childish ways. 12For now we see in a mirror, dimly,b but then we will see face to face. Now I know only in part; then I will know fully, even as I have been fully known.
13And now faith, hope, and love abide, these three;
And
the greatest of these is love.
The picture ( below ) was taken in 1996,
The view from Milo's studio apartment
2004 - Boerne, Texas
Stacy and Milo.
"The sunny, childhood days.
Milo longed for what he called freedom because
he was in deep pain ~ pain in his heart & soul.
The kind of pain that smothers hope.
He suffered many years with demons & darkness,
and tried to cope in every way he knew how ~
mainly through physical activity,
either working out with weights or jogging for miles
and miles.
In the end his "medicine of choice,"
was death.
Whether intentional, or accidental,
he took his life on
September 28th, 2004.
Thoughts
When your mind is full of thoughts
And you struggle to find peace
Hand your troubles over to God
And your mind will find its release
God will listen to all of your prayers
And forever remain by your side
Through the thoughts of your mind
He will become your faithful guide
God will help you to see clearly
While thoughts cloud your view
As your thoughts become untangled
Many thoughts will become few
Those thoughts which trouble you
Will soon ease within your mind
When you place your trust in God
Greater peace you"ll come to find
~ ashleigh's angels ~
Gary "Bubba" Haywood
~ Patty ~
An Angel sent from Heaven
Our beautiful daughter Patty with her sweet hubby, Roger
The breeze feels nice
The breeze is calm
Like touched by God
Under the sun
I see a flower
As pretty as can be
I smile and see
You looking at me
- thank you, Lexy Daniels
Boise, Idaho
The Abyss
- written one year after Milo died
I was falling into the abyss
Of self-destruction,
Consuming whatever
Would drowned out the reality
Of losing you.
Quietly, you whispered to me
From the spirit world.
Your encouraging words
Drifted into my consciousness,
And a new dawn began,
Like the sun emerging
After a storm.
My days are still cloudy at times,
But I am learning that
I can push the clouds away.
The sun can shine again.
~ published in 2006
This memorial website was created with great love to Honor and
Remember our dearest son,
Jeffrey "Milo" Goodale,
Milo was born in Washington, D.C., on February 25, 1975, and soared to the heavens on September 28, 2004, at
the age of twenty nine.
Tonight he laid himself to sleep
Broke the promises he could not keep
Left the lonely world to share
All the pain he could not bear.
Milo was a highly reccommended
A.C.E. Certified Physical
Fitness Trainer.
It was his lifelong dream.
Being bipolar, he needed the physical
activity in order to stay emotionally well.
With that in mind, he jogged almost daily,
and worked out constantly.
We are hoping to start a foundation in
honor of Milo's life, and his desire to help
others maintain a healthy lifestyle. Ideally,
we would like to help teenage children
with disabilities.
We have picked out a name -
My
Investment
Long
Overdue.
( spells Milo )
Any suggestions that would help us with ideas,
or information on how we can accomplish our goal,
please contact me
through this website.
Milo was born in Washington
D.C., on February 25, 1975,
and Soared to the Heavens on
September 28, 2004, in
Boerne. Texas,
At the age
of
Twenty Nine.
We Will Remember,
love,
and miss
Him
Forever
My special and very loved brother,
Kyle Roman Goodale.
If you are humble nothng will touch you,
neither praise nor disgrace,
because you know what you are."
-Mother Teresa
"When you pass through the waters, I will be with you:
And when you pass through the rivers, they will
Not sweep over you.
When you walk through the fire,
You will not be burned,
The flames will not set you ablaze.
For I am the Lord, Your God.
The Holy One of Israel, Your Savior."
Isaiah 43: 2-3
"If we really want to love we
must learn how to forgive."
- Mother Teresa
One day, when to everyone else
You are but a distant memory,
I will remember
You.
Your life
And
Your love
For life and love
Are the precious gifts
You
Gave to me.
Loving you always,
mom
We invite you to light a candle or
to share any memories you may
have of Milo.
Every memory becomes a
treasure for us.
Milo was an extraordinary son.
He had a brilliant mind, a beautiful smile and a heart of gold.
He laughed a lot and made us laugh.
No one who met Milo was ever left unimpressed or unaffected.
Milo lived his life with endless passion and excitement.
Life to him was one long concert, full of
leaps and bounds and noise and lights
and music.
He loved his family, his friends, his music, and was
passionate about working out and staying physically fit.
Milo was always very generous.
Whenever he had money
in his pocket he was quick to
help anyone in need.
Jim, Milo's stepdad, said that,
" Milo was a stranger to this earth."
Never was this more apparent than on the
day he died.
Going through his apartment that day we all noticed
what few possessions he had.
But what he did have was telling;
He had a Bible, a picture of Jesus, a few
self help books, and a picture that little Matthew had drawn
for him, of the two of them
" holding hands."
When I look at Milo's photographs,
I still cannot believe
that all that life and love has vanished.
But what I do know is that if love alone could
have kept him alive,
he never would have died.
Milo was diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder,
and A.D.D.
We knew he had problems with
A.D.D., but his clinical diagnosis
of Bipolar Disorder came
within just a few months
preceding his death.
It came as no surprise.
Milo battled with
depression for many, many years.
We tried unsuccessfully
to get him the help he needed,
but he was resistant,
feeling that it was
something
he should handle on his own.
Five months before he died he
began seeing a psychiatrist.
Because he had no insurance he fell into
the hands of our system which was already
overworked and
understaffed,
resulting in a lack
of personal interest.
The doctor put Milo on a new medication
just weeks before he died.
He wasn't adjusting
to it with ease.
I left several messages with the doctor's office,
but never
received a return phone from his doctor
until it was too late.
His death was ruled an accidental suicide
from
morphine poisoning.
It was my medication, which riddled me with
guilt, until
I truly found
Jesus Christ
as my
Lord & Savior.
It says in the Bible that we are to be grateful
"In All things."
So, we have thanked God for taking Milo
Home when He did.
With the downward spiral he was
on, he could have died
a horrible death.
Milo didn't make friends easily,
but there
wasn't anything in the world that he
wouldn't do for his friends.
His friends
have told me that he was considerate, compassionate,
honest,thoughtful, selfless,
hard-working, fiercely funny, and extremely
loyal.
They have also confided that they were
aware of his mood swings, but that it
never changed their relationships
with him in any way.
Milo attended El Dorado High School, then
went on to Chapparral High School where he
graduated in 1993 with a 4.0 average.
His favorite sport was basketball, but he also played baseball,
football, track, wrestling, boxing, and other sports.
He excelled in any sport he chose to play
and won many trophies.
He loved competition, but not until his first wrestling match
when he was losing and wanted to quit.
He was 13 at the time.
I told him,
"NO, you are NOT quitting!
Just get mad and go kick his butt!!"
He DID!!
In 1992 he came in
2nd place in
The State of Nevada
Wrestling Championships.
Milo was Methodist by faith.
He was baptized and received Christ on the same
day his step-dad
walked up to the front of the church to be baptized.
Milo, unexpectedly, followed in his footsteps.
He pursued a career in Physical Fitness and
became an A. C. E. Certified Physical Fitness Trainer,
fulfilling one of his biggest dreams.
He helped many people lose weight and get
back into shape, and was pleased that he
was instrumental in helping them
achieve their personal goals.
Milo was passionate about nutrition and
eating a well balanced diet.
On his birthdays
he would usually request a fruit bowl
rather than the traditional birthday cake.
Milo became a carpenter and learned the
trade from "the best," his father, Jeff.
They built custom homes, duplexes,
condominiums and apartment
buildings.
No job was ever too hard or too big for them.
Often, Milo's little brother, Kyle, assisted
them while learning the trade.
Shortly after Milo got out of high school
he applied for a position with the
Police Academy in
Las Vegas.
He studied mounds of material and
felt confidant about passing the
required tests,
which included a written test,
an oral test, a psychological profile,
and a physical endurance test.
When Milo called to see if he had
been accepted, he was told
that there had been one question
on the psychological profile,
but that he had passed all of the other
tests with flying colors, and he was
congratulated on his outstanding scores.
Milo was the "top runner" on the mile lap.
When he finished running the course, he sat down to
watch the remaining runners compete.
One of the last, an exhausted young lady, was having
trouble finishing the course.
Milo abruptly
jumped up from his seat, ran out
onto the field, and began running next to her,
encouraging her to complete her final lap.
The impact of this unselfish act motivated
the girl to complete the run, in an acceptable
time frame, and got her a
position in the academy.
And that is how Milo always was;
Selfless, giving, and very thoughtful of others.
I want Milo's Memory to live on forever.
I want people to rememember him,
to know him,
to love him,
to know
how
important he was
to us.
I want them to know what an extraordinary
person he was ~
How much he laughed, and how much
joy he brought us.
I think one of Milo's greatest
gifts to me was one of
healing.
In losing so much when I lost him,
I faced
my own worst fears and greatest demons.
I cannot escape the pain,
or the loss,
or the sad memories,
or the fact that I miss him so
unbearably
at times.
But I"m learning to live with it,
as we all do,
One day at a time.
Milo left each of us something.
A gift, a dream, a memory,
A little more courage than we had before.
In my heart, Milo isn't gone.
He still dances on, as dazzling as ever,
smiling and joking and laughing.
"Life is not measured by the number of breaths
we take, but by the moments that
take our breath away."
- unknown
"Ask, and it will be given you;
Seek, and you shall find;
knock, and it shall be
opened unto you."
Gracious thanks to Laurri Lowe, mother of
Rosie Lowe,
( www.rosie-lowe.memory-of.com )
a five mile hike was
coordinated this past summer
(2007)
to bring more awareness to suicide, and to the
devastating effects that are left
on the broken shoulders of the survivors.
We kept you All covered in prayer
on that incredible day.
Happy it went so well.
Thank you so much for remembering
Milo & carrying his name.
You guys are a God-send.
Laurri, Dave & Rosie Lowe
On behalf of those who have lost
a loved one to
SUICIDE, please keep the survivors in your prayers,
and make it a point to check on them regularly.
It is amazing how quickly a
depressed person can heal IF they know
they have friends that will be there if they need
anything.
More often, it's the simple phone calls to say, "I really care. How are you doing today? I AM here if you NEED me. I love you. You are NOT alone."
Loved Ones' Suicide Survivors
All text copied from LOSS Website
The person who completes suicide dies once. Those left behind die a thousand deaths, trying to relive those terrible moments and understand ....WHY?
We are all “intertwined …. separate, yet together, alike, yet different. We are interwoven such that, together, we are more than we are apart. Each of us is desperately loved and needed by others. But love isn't enough! If it were, our loved ones would still be alive.
We are parents, spouses, siblings, children, relatives, lovers, partners, in-laws, companions, and friends of one who has completed suicide. We are “those left behind.” Victims of a tragedy that we could not foresee but feel responsibility for, and for which there is no closure.
We are angry about our loss and seek the ability to express our anger appropriately, whether at the one we have lost, at others who ignored or were negligent about our loved one’s health, or at ourselves. We struggle with guilt and blame.
We have a right to grieve in a manner and time frame that works best for us. We don’t have to “get over it” or “move on.” The intensity of our loss remains constant, the frequency of intense feelings does lessen over time.
We face together the cruel reality that others will remember our loved ones, not for their life and how they lived it, but for their death and how it came to be.
We are Loved Ones’ Suicide Survivors (LOSS). We suffer an especially acute, long, and painful grief. Our needs are not well understood. Our grief is complex, overwhelming and disabling. Death is a normal life crisis – suicide is an abnormal life crisis.
We grieve, but we need not grieve alone.
www.healingafterloss.org
To The Living
To the living, I am gone;
To the sorrowful, I will never return;
To the angry, I was cheated;
but to the happy, I am at peace,
and to the faithful I have never left.
I cannot speak, but I can listen;
I cannot be seen, but I can be heard.
So, as you stand upon a shore gazing at the
beautiful sea,
Remember me.
As you look in awe at a mighty forest and feel its
grand majesty,
remember me.
Remember me in your heart,
your thoughts, and memories of the times we
cried,
the times we fought,
the times we laughed,
the times we loved.
For if you always think of me,
I will never be gone from your side.
- author unknown
When your light goes out upon this earth,
I'll look up to the sky;
It will twinkle there in a million stars,
Like it did here in your eyes.
And when your flame no longer burns,
To warm my every day;
I will bask in the warmth of your memory,
That will never go away..
Then when your laughter no longer rings,
I'll listen deep within;
For it will be the sweetest gift
"Twas left here by my son
And precious friend.
So rest in peace in the arms of God,
My precious, faithful son;
You'll be the joy of each memory
Long after your journey is done.
I love you, Milo,
"God's voice is the single candle in the dark world
that will guide you to Him.
Let Him give us light."
Our son died on his own battlefield.
He was killed in action fighting a civil war.
He fought against adversaries that were
as real to him as a casket is real to us.
They took toll of his energies and endurance.
They exhausted the last vestiges
of his courage and strength.
At last these adversaries overwhelmed him, and it appeared
that he had lost the war.
But did he?
I see a host of victories that he has won!
For one thing - - He has won our admiration .
Because even if he lost the war,
We give him credit for his bravery on the battlefield.
And we give him credit for the
courage and pride and hope that he used
as weapons for as long as he could.
We shall remember not his death,
but his daily victories gained
through his kindness and
thoughtfulness,
through his love
for family and friends,
for animals, children and music,
for all things beautiful, lovely and honorable.
We shall remember the many days
that he was victorious over overwhelming odds.
We shall remember not the years
we thought he had left,
but the intensity with whic he lived
the years he had.
Only God knows
what this child of His
suffered in the silent skirmishes
that took place in his soul.
But our consolation is that
God does know and understands.
- written by Father Gene 
I dropped a tear in the ocean.
When you find it is when
I'll stop missing
you.
.
My mom, 9 months pregnant
with me, Our Dad, Jeff, my sister,
Stacy , with Baby Gabrielle.
February of 1975
Me and My dad - doing tricks,
which he also did with my sister, Stacy,
when she was a baby.
People would stop just to
watch the show.
1976
Me @ Mt. Charleston
At the zoo in Honolulu, Hawaii.
Me and mom,
Just three days in love.
Getting ready for another
wrestling tournament trip with Milo .
